Got your attention with the post title, didn't I? It seems we all have strong feelings about Proverbs 13:24 which says, "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly," (NKJV). Look up "rod" in a concordance or search on http://www.biblegateway.com/. There are many contexts for "rod" often negative, but plenty of positives. I'm processing my own thoughts as I write so bear with me.
Now, there is a rod of discipline referred to in many ways, such as the "rod of iron" with which the Lord rules in Revelation. There is also the "rod of Aaron" which was a branch from an almond tree that budded to appoint Aaron as the High Priest. There is the rod of the fool or the rod of the slave driver used as a whip to crush. There is the voice of God in Isaiah 11:4, "...And He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth...." (NASB) and in Micah 6:9, "The LORD’s voice cries to the city— Wisdom shall see Your name: 'Hear the rod! Who has appointed it?'" (NKJV).
Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far from him," (NKJV). I read an article today about some parents who literally beat and starved their child to death and pointed to the Bible and a misguided pastor as their justification for doing such an unconscionable thing. Many readers of my book will come from an abusive background. You cringe at the thought of verses like these that feed sick minds like the ones you knew growing up. I had the Bible shoved in my face enough as a child. The last thing I want is some adult to say they are biblically justified by God Himself to abuse their children in Jesus' name! God forbid!!! And don't go forcing your kid to read the Bible through tears and sobs. At that point, it is not a conversation anymore. You are only appeasing your own wrath. That is not correction, it's vengeance!
But if you can free up your mind and hurts a little, please walk with me through an undoing of shallow misapplications and into a deeper understanding of God's love in Proverbs 13:24 and 22:15. I don't have my concordance sitting here with me at my desk, but I don't think it is necessary in order to consider this other dimension to what is already stated in these two verses. Here is what I propose to you: What if you read this with the understanding of a Shepherd's rod?
Apply Psalm 23:4 to the Proverbs -- "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." The Good Shepherd's staff guides and directs me where I should go. It keeps me on the straight and narrow and shows me to whom I belong. I can spot Him easily and I know His voice. His voice is the rod that comforts me and tells me I am protected from myself and others. He will defend me against the wolves!
What if you ruled as a leader at the office or as a parent in your home with the idea that the rod is the loving voice and words of God, not your own. Or what would change if you child got out of line and you lovingly reached out with the hook of your staff and pulled them in to actually teach in a calm shepherd-like way what the child did wrong and how they can correct their mistake biblically? If they had fallen into a ditch you would extend the hook to pull them up. A child needs to see the rod of correction as a symbol of rescue and comfort and help in times of trouble, not as a weapon formed against them.
Every day I struggle between what I know as an adult and what my children only know in their short existence. I expect so much from them what they may not be equipped to produce yet. Correction is a process of learning and practicing and eventually getting it right. Do you own a roll of correction tape? Yeah, it's like that. White out your child's mistake and try again. Talk about it and apply biblical concepts and stories and teaching wherever possible and then make it safe for the child to try again. They won't try again and they won't correct their mistake if they think they'll get beat with a rod if they mess up again. That's not safe. That's not comfort.
Without throwing the Bible at your child, teach your children with Biblical leadership, guide them and direct them and keep them on the straight and narrow, show them the way by your own example and remove your own hypocrisy. PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH! Interestingly, this wisdom comes from Ephesians 6 which describes the relationship parents should have with their children and masters should have with their slaves, and immediately follows with a detailed description of the spiritual armor which says we don't strive with each other but rather with our spiritual enemy the devil! If you spare the rod, the child will rot and spoil in the hands of the devil and sink in their foolishness. You are a shepherd to lift them out of the pitfalls and show them a better way.
It is NOT love if your idea of applying the rod of discipline means that you hit your child. The rod of correction goes much, much further if you consider what the rod and staff of our Savior do for us. They comfort. Shouldn't you?
11/10/11
NOTE: This morning I was reading an article from Focus on the Family that is on this very subject. Thought I should include the link and share with you what real Christians are saying about this: http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/blogs/Finding_Home/2011/11/09/i-had-to-turn-it-off
