I recently finished reading Joni Eareckson Tada's book A Lifetime of Wisdom: Embracing the way God heals you. I'm going to buy up a dozen more copies to give away, it's THAT good. For those of you who are unaware of Joni's plight, at 17 years of age, she was in a diving accident that left her quadriplegic the rest of her life. She is now in her beautiful 60's and writes this book in retrospect over her 40 years of living in a wheelchair. The book is laced with "rubies hard won," and her gleanings of wisdom she would never have were it not for her confinement.
I've been reading this as I have endured a mysterious medical condition. Some days my face is paralyzed. Some moments there's no pain at all, like right now. The pain comes and goes throughout my whole body and the doctors concluded "There's nothing wrong with you." I have my strong suspicions but the medical examinations have made it clear that it's up to me to figure it out.
A couple days ago, when I had a rare moment just to think, God did not specify a target when he asked, "Who is this about, Lisa?" Have you ever experienced that, where God asks you a rhetorical question that preaches an entire 6 week sermon series straight to your heart in one statement? Well, I put God's question up against all the major issues and situations on my plate lately and I found that I have mistakenly made these things about ME. As I worked through each situation or issue, one truth became more and more evident that I want to share with you.
Like Joni, like myself, like you, we all have a story. But most often, people think of it as their own story and that is just not the case. Consider your mortality. Your story means nothing if it's yours. It will die with you and be buried in your grave. What if it's not even really about you. If the story of your life is YOUR story then YOU are the main character and God is just a player. It's all about you and how and why things happen are determined by your choices and your circumstances (over which you really have no control). The story revolves around you. But what if, instead of it being your story, it's God's story? In God's story, HE is the main character and the cast of players all have a vital role in bringing HIS story together into one giant epic (see Epic by John Eldredge). Each of us merely has a piece of the story and the story can't be told seamlessly without you to tell it like you know it. We all have a part to contribute because God is always at work, and his story isn't finished being told even though the book is already written.
My children enjoy the pick-your-own-ending books. I introduced them to these books when they were struggling with understanding how their responses to people and situations actually make a difference. The kids picked up on the concept quickly. In God's story, the book is written and finished. As the Casting Crowns song says, "To You my future is a memory." In God's story, there are many ways to get to the same conclusion. It just depends on what choices you make how He's going to get there.
What does all this look like on a practical level? God knows when I'm going to die. I don't. So why am I so worried about my mysterious pains? Of course it's bothersome and disturbing, no doubt. But I made the mistake of thinking everything about it was up to me and that God would hold it against me if I didn't get this thing under wraps. I basically pushed God aside in my heart without realizing it, taking my destiny into my own hands. I forgot that whether I live or die it is for His glory. It also looks like patience. When a friend who is struggling doesn't call me for a long time, I can respond with patience knowing that God is working in her and that any role I've ever had to in her life doesn't purchase my plot of real estate and entitlement in her heart. She doesn't answer to me; she answers to God alone. I am now patiently making myself available should God choose to use me in the same way or a new and different way. It won't be my words of wisdom to her if God chooses to speak. It's His story after all. I would be more than slightly offended if someone came along and edited my journal. Even the job of a book editor is never to change the voice of the author. I respect my friend's need for room to grow, for God to work, and I do so without meddling in other people's business as though I have the right to be there. If we are in someone else's part of the story, it should only be because we were invited there.
In closing, my pastor's sermon Sunday was about God's/John's letter to the church at Ephesus (Rev. 2) which I found particularly convicting in light of the question God posed to me. God tells that church that they have lost their first love. Let's stop thinking from the loins for a minute and forget Eros love. This church was serving God and doing great and wonderful things. They were commended for their work and perseverance and all they had endured. But the correction they received is that God was not their FIRST love anymore. They loved service to Him more than God Himself. They loved building and planning and helping people and solving spiritual problems and ministering to others. They LOVED it! That was great, but before they realized what had happened, they sidelined God. This is basically what happened with me. It happens to everyone who's a Christian long enough. We can't possibly keep all things all right all the time.
So be careful out there, friends. It's a hard story to live and a glorifying story to tell. Tell your piece of the story and thereby keep God's story seamless, without missing parts. Watch for the unfolding of his-story in your life.
