It crept up on me, the memory that was always there… in parts. Something happened that night, something horrific and nightmarish, and I was about to find out. I sifted through the memories and the gaps, all that replayed in my waking and in my sleeping thoughts. Piece by piece it came back to me some 30 years later.
It involved some family members and their “friends.” One of those people gave me a gift of a 1/20 oz. gold coin a couple years later. Later in life, I realized it was quite likely stolen and quite likely a token of payment to keep me quiet or apologize. Either way, it was as hideous and despicable as the crime. Still, I hung onto it, never sure what to do with it and biding time in hopes that it would be worth something to me someday.
As the memory was coming to completion and I was processing it all in therapy, my church was campaigning for funds to expand their territory. They showed a photo timeline of how our church started 60 years ago as a small country church. Through years of outpouring of generosity, it came to be the megaplex that it is today and the place my heart calls home. I am forever grateful that because people sacrificed in some pretty amazing ways over the past 60 years, souls are being saved today and my kids can grow up knowing Jesus by the teaching provided in their classes and programs. We drive an hour to church each way and it is totally worth it! In reflecting on the giving of others to make my church home possible, I wanted to give something that would make my church a place to call home for another family 60 years from now.
I was so sad because my husband was losing his job and I’m a stay at home mom with no income and nothing to give financially. That’s when I got creative. I decided that my book sales and any photography sales for the last 3 months of 2011 would be given in whole to FBCA (my church).
Then I remembered the gold coin and what a terrible thing and terrible people it symbolized. I thought if I could use it to buy a new camera, I could take better pictures and sell the photos to make money for Jesus. So I lifted this idea to God in prayer. The conversation went something like this:
“How long will the camera last you, Lisa?”
“Five to ten years. But I can sell the pictures longer.”
“If you’re lucky. How much money do you have in your pocket to give?”
“None.”
“And how much is the gold coin worth?”
“I really have no idea if it’s even real.”
“Whether it is real or it isn’t, your story needs to be redeemed, Lisa! Redeem the coin. Give it to me and I can make it worth more than gold itself. I gave you back your memory about that fateful night to heal you and redeem that part of your life. Now redeem the worthless coin so I can make something good come out of it.”
So I did. I received a statement in the mail today on the church’s letterhead that said they sold the tiny coin for $78 on February 9, 2012. I will tuck this letter away in a private place and hold onto it in remembrance of the lifelong weight I carried with this coin and as a reminder of how God can redeem absolutely anything … and anyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment